Legislatures, School Boards Beginning to Respond to Cyberbullies

Schools have had difficulties in when and if to punish students for cyberbullying. Jurisdictional issues and a basic understanding of bullying over cellphones and the Internet have made creating legislation difficult for superintendents. Recent national headlines involving cyberbullying, especially the Phoebe Prince case in Massachusetts, have forced administrators and superintendents to push for new laws and programs that educate young people about cyberbullying and punish those that take part in it.

Starting in June of 2010, the Nevada state legislature made cyberbullying a misdemeanor that could be punishable with jail time. In the wake of the much-publicized suicide of 13-year old girl Megan Meier after a cyberbully’s internet hoax, Missouri lawmakers have gone a step further by upgrading the crime from a misdemeanor to a felony. Legislatures in Arkansas have also changed the way bullying laws are able to be prosecuted by allowing taunts and threats that originate off of school grounds to be used as evidence against cyberbullies.

While new laws are an important part of curbing cyberbullying, it is crucial that administrators and lawmakers educate young people on how to avoid and deal with cyberbullies before they cause irreparable harm to other students through the use of social programs and conflict resolution training.

The Trevor Romain Company’s Bullies Are a Pain In the Brain Curriculum gives students the confidence and knowledge they need to recognize and react to cyberbullies before they become a school-wide problem. The Bullies Are a Pain In the Brain Curriculum develops vital social and interpersonal relationship skills by combining a systematic reading and writing curriculum with theme-based motivational content that students can connect to their own lives.

The Bullies Are a Pain In the Brain Curriculum reflects the Guidance Competency Model delivery system components of Guidance Curriculum, Individual Planning, Responsive Services, and Systems Support.  The Curriculum lessons are designed to be used to produce change in student behavior.  In addressing the Guidance Curriculum component, the program’s lessons are structured to be delivered to all students.  

For more information on Bullies Are A Pain In the Brain Curriculum:
http://www.trevorromain.com/bullies-classset.html

For more information on Cyberbullying:
Cyberbullying Research Institute - http://www.cyberbullying.us/

Clique-Busting Strategies for Parents and Educators

Most teachers and parents know how to treat our peers, and like all good adult role models, they try to guide children towards this model. However, when the classroom or car door shuts and those children are in the hallways and schoolyards, parents and educators can only hope that some of those positive messages have been taken to heart.

That is why it is so important that adults send a strong and consistent message about cliques. There are many ways educators and parents can make a positive difference in the way young people form their social groups.

Be a Good Listener
The easiest and most effective way to help children dealing with the stresses of school-age social life and cliques is through listening. If a child knows that his or her comments will not be met with judging or scolding, that child will feel secure enough to be truthful about a potentially damaging clique-related situation. Positive, active conversation and constructive problem-solving strategies will help give children the confidence they need to deal with negative peer-groups.

Encourage "Floating"
The ability to easily transition from one social group to another is a very important skill for young people to acquire. Social "floating" gives students a strong sense of self-worth and they aren't as likely to be exposed to the negative effects of cliques. Adults can help their children and students easily float between social groups by encouraging them to be involved in many social groups, such as sports leagues, musical groups, clubs, and youth groups.

Talk About Values
Teach social values to children while they are young. Children should know the importance of concepts like acceptance, respect, kindness, empathy, and openness as soon as possible.

Model Good Behavior
Children are aware of how parents and educators act. If adults don't subscribe to the same practices they teach, then young people will follow in their footsteps. Avoid gossiping about others in front of children - this is classic clique-like behavior. Also try to be the individual that you want young people to be. And last but not least, you should always exhibit nurturing, open, and inclusive actions for young people to look up to.

Promote Diversity
Mean girls and queen bees have a tough time forming cliques when their school has an open and accepting culture. Make it a priority that your classroom is a safe place for children to disagree and have mixed opinions and preferences. Convince your school administrators to implement clique-busting programs such as "mix-it-up" days that encourage students to sit and talk with students outside their circle of friends.

The DVD, Cliques, Phonies, and Other Baloney, helps kids break out of the mean-clique mold.
Being one of the cool kids may not always be what it seems. Using hilarious real life situations, Trevor helps kids understand the difference between a clique, or group of friends, and an exclusive or mean clique. Being part of a clique is okay, but excluding others and putting people down is not. In his warm, caring and funny way, Trevor offers helpful suggestions on how to dare to be different, keep an open mind about others, and most importantly, how to remain true to yourself, no matter what.

More About Cliques:
Clique information from Girlshealth.gov:
http://www.girlshealth.gov/bullying/whatis/cliques.cfm

A two part article from NetFamilyNews.org – Kid-Tech News for Parents:
Clicks & cliques: *Really* meaty advice for parents on cyberbullying:
http://www.netfamilynews.org/2010/02/clicks-cliques-really-meaty-advice-for.html

Clicks, cliques & cyberbullying, Part 2: Whole-school response is key:
http://www.netfamilynews.org/?p=28742

Using Cultural Studies as a Social Awareness Tool

While close childhood friendships have been found to develop a strong sense of individuality and a healthy self-esteem, early childhood friendships can also develop into group bullying behavior when taken to extremes.

Cliques can form as early as preschool when parents from the same neighborhood and socioeconomic class encourage their children to become friends. These friendships are normal and not intrinsically unhealthy, however, parents should teach their children that they are not friends with their neighbors because they share a social or economic class. When children begin to look at others as different because of race, culture, or neighborhood - they will be far more likely to form cliques with like-minded children.

It is important that parents and educators find creative ways for children to foster healthy childhood friendships and respect their peers' differences. Parents can create a more open classroom by talking to their children about other societies and cultures. Teachers can support cultural awareness in schools through robust social programs and global studies curricula. Giving children the knowledge of a bigger world can be a powerful tool against bullying behavior in your school and neighborhood.


Cliques in the News

News Articles
New York State Passes Updated Anti-bullying Law
http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/06/23/new.york.anti.bullying.bill/

Parents in Oklahoma Turning to Lawmakers for Help with Bullying
http://www.koco.com/news/24048487/detail.html

Massachusetts State School Board Adopts Anti-Bullying Initiative
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/regional/view.bg?articleid=1263323&srvc=rss

Counselors Are Source of Strength for Parents and Children During Divorce

Divorce can have a traumatic and wide-ranging effect on school-aged children. Research has shown that most teachers notice changes in student behavior after a divorce.

Children in the early elementary grades go through stages of heavy grief, anxiety, and often have irrational feelings of guilt about their parents’ divorce. Older elementary-aged children feel the same fears, but they react to the divorce with more anger and may also blame and alienate one of their parents. Teenagers share feelings of anxiety and anger with their counterparts, but typically act-out with self-destructive behavior.

Parents have the greatest effect on how their children handle the transition. Children recover from the emotional divorce-related trauma when their parents talk honestly, without asking them to choose sides, and cooperate with each another on their child’s behalf.

Parents should also take advantage of the tremendous positive influence that school counselors can have on children affected by divorce. Counselors can support children through direct methods like one-on-one, small group, or seminar counseling sessions. Counselors can also coordinate support for children by working with those adults with whom children recovering from divorce-related trauma most frequently come in contact.

School counselors can create workshops that inform educators about the effects that divorce can have on children. Counselors can also help teachers adapt their lessons to use more sensitive language about divorce and single-family parents.

Counselors can assist parents by recommending divorce-related books, videos, support groups, and by giving sound professional advice on ways parents can assist their children during their period of transition.

Help a Special Child You Know Who is Dealing with Divorce
Divorce is painful for everyone  involved, especially kids. In the book, Taking The "Duh" Out of Divorce, Trevor Romain uses gentle humor to give kids practical, helpful advice for dealing with the pain of divorce. Through humorous anecdotes and straight-forward advice, Trevor lets kids know that divorce is painful, but that the pain is temporary and isn’t their fault.

For more information on the book, Taking The "Duh" Out of Divorce:
http://www.trevorromain.com/dvd-divorce.html

For more information on divorce:
American Academy of Child Adolescent Psychiatry:
http://www.aacap.org/cs/root/facts_for_families/children_and_divorce

The Five Cliques

Social status and being accepted by peers is very important to young people. By the fourth grade,  most kids, young girls in particular, begin a frantic game of catch-up to be a part of the "cool" crowd. Young "Queen Bees" and "Big Men on Campus" begin to dominate the social scene in late elementary school. In middle school, social groups are the most firmly entrenched. At this age, conforming to the group norms and avoiding the perception of being different are at the top of most child's priority list. It isn't until high school that individuality is appreciated and accepted.

According to research done by Ken Dodge at Vanderbilt University and John Coie of Duke University, it is in the late elementary and middle school years that five main social groups emerge.

• The Alpha Group - These are the leaders that all the kids emulate and want to be friends with. Usually athletic or attractive, these kids sometimes have accelerated social skills that sets them apart from their peers

• The Accepted Group - Most kids fall into this group. They have many friends and do well academically.

• The Rejected Group - This group of kids have been rejected by their peers and are the most at-risk of all the other groups. Their lack of social skills usually stem from problems at home or mental issues like depression. Many bullies and bully-magnets both come from this group.

• The Rebel Group - This group is liked by some for talking back to adults and disliked by others for not conforming. Kids from this group can become involved in vandalism, violence, and gang activity.

• The Neglected Group - These kids do not participate in social circles and have little or no interactions with their peers. They are sometimes overlooked by teachers because they tend to be good students and avoid confrontation with others.

Breaking the Cliques Mold
While social interactions and peer groups can be positive, cliques and group bullying can exclude and harass students who don't fit the common social mold. Students can only take full advantage of their education when they are free to be themselves without fear of ridicule from others. Both parents and teachers have a responsibility to teach children the difference between positive and negative social interactions. School administrators should also take steps to foster an inclusive school environment that allows all students to feel safe and equal to their peers. 

Cliques, Phonies, & Other Baloney
Trevor Romain's hilarious book gives your kids the straightforward advice they need to be themselves and keep positive friendships.

Written for every child who has felt excluded or trapped by a clique, Cliques, Phonies, & Other Baloney blends humor with practical advice as it tackles a serious subject. Written and illustrated by Trevor Romain, this kid-friendly book explains what cliques are, and teaches kids that it's okay to be themselves. Readers will also learn the skills they need to make and keep true friends, and they’ll pick up important self-esteem tips that will help them feel good about themselves.

Cliques in the News

Cliques and the difference between normal social interactions and bullying in elementary school.
http://bullying.suite101.com/article.cfm/the-truth-about-mean-girls

A reformed "mean girl" talks about her past and why she changed her ways.
http://www.vancouversun.com/entertainment/Carrie+Underwood+Mike+Fisher...

Strategies to help students stand up to school cliques and think for themselves.
http://www.bhg.com/health-family/school/back-to-school/combating-popular-kids-and-their-cliques/

School social program targets student "self-segregation" and encourages students to avoid cliques.
http://articles.latimes.com/2009/nov/08/local/me-cliques8

More Info on Cliques How Cliques Make Kids Feel Left Out
http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/friend/clique.html

Coping with Cliques - Conformity rules for 9 year olds, who just want to fit in.
http://www2.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=2120

Coping with Cliques
http://www.mgh.harvard.edu/children/adolescenthealth/articles/aa_cliques.aspx

Girls' Cliques: What Role Does Your Daughter Play?
http://www.ivillage.com/girls-cliques-what-role-does-your-daughter-play/6-a-144522

The Five Cliques

Social status and being accepted by peers is very important to young people. By the fourth grade,  most kids, young girls in particular, begin a frantic game of catch-up to be a part of the "cool" crowd. Young "Queen Bees" and "Big Men on Campus" begin to dominate the social scene in late elementary school. In middle school, social groups are the most firmly entrenched. At this age, conforming to the group norms and avoiding the perception of being different are at the top of most child's priority list. It isn't until high school that individuality is appreciated and accepted.

According to research done by Ken Dodge at Vanderbilt University and John Coie of Duke University, it is in the late elementary and middle school years that five main social groups emerge.

• The Alpha Group - These are the leaders that all the kids emulate and want to be friends with. Usually athletic or attractive, these kids sometimes have accelerated social skills that sets them apart from their peers

• The Accepted Group - Most kids fall into this group. They have many friends and do well academically.

• The Rejected Group - This group of kids have been rejected by their peers and are the most at-risk of all the other groups. Their lack of social skills usually stem from problems at home or mental issues like depression. Many bullies and bully-magnets both come from this group.

• The Rebel Group - This group is liked by some for talking back to adults and disliked by others for not conforming. Kids from this group can become involved in vandalism, violence, and gang activity.

• The Neglected Group - These kids do not participate in social circles and have little or no interactions with their peers. They are sometimes overlooked by teachers because they tend to be good students and avoid confrontation with others.

Breaking the Cliques Mold
While social interactions and peer groups can be positive, cliques and group bullying can exclude and harass students who don't fit the common social mold. Students can only take full advantage of their education when they are free to be themselves without fear of ridicule from others. Both parents and teachers have a responsibility to teach children the difference between positive and negative social interactions. School administrators should also take steps to foster an inclusive school environment that allows all students to feel safe and equal to their peers. 

Cliques, Phonies, & Other Baloney
Trevor Romain's hilarious book gives your kids the straightforward advice they need to be themselves and keep positive friendships.

Written for every child who has felt excluded or trapped by a clique, Cliques, Phonies, & Other Baloney blends humor with practical advice as it tackles a serious subject. Written and illustrated by Trevor Romain, this kid-friendly book explains what cliques are, and teaches kids that it's okay to be themselves. Readers will also learn the skills they need to make and keep true friends, and they’ll pick up important self-esteem tips that will help them feel good about themselves.

Cliques in the News

Cliques and the difference between normal social interactions and bullying in elementary school.
http://bullying.suite101.com/article.cfm/the-truth-about-mean-girls

A reformed "mean girl" talks about her past and why she changed her ways.
http://www.vancouversun.com/entertainment/Carrie+Underwood+Mike+Fisher...

Strategies to help students stand up to school cliques and think for themselves.
http://www.bhg.com/health-family/school/back-to-school/combating-popular-kids-and-their-cliques/

School social program targets student "self-segregation" and encourages students to avoid cliques.
http://articles.latimes.com/2009/nov/08/local/me-cliques8

More Info on Cliques How Cliques Make Kids Feel Left Out
http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/friend/clique.html

Coping with Cliques - Conformity rules for 9 year olds, who just want to fit in.
http://www2.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=2120

Coping with Cliques
http://www.mgh.harvard.edu/children/adolescenthealth/articles/aa_cliques.aspx

Girls' Cliques: What Role Does Your Daughter Play?
http://www.ivillage.com/girls-cliques-what-role-does-your-daughter-play/6-a-144522

Snakes may rank first, but public speaking consistently ranks at the top of most people's fear lists. The fear of speaking is often rooted in looking foolish in front of others.

We fear that we may “draw a blank,” stumble while approaching our speaking position, or be judged and evaluated negatively by our audience. Concentrating is often difficult; our heart may beat faster, our mouth may become dry, or we may begin to feel light headed and sick to our stomach. Sometimes we become so nervous that when we do begin to speak, we hurry through our presentation, speaking rapidly or stumbling over words.

Many students experience this same fear and share the same worries. Teachers often ease into public speaking by asking students for group presentations. Individual students feel less threatened because they are surrounded by peers. Instead of feeling like all eyes are on them, students feel the pressure is shared, creating a safety blanket.

Educators can also ease students' fears and give them much needed self-confidence with some public-speaking strategies and exercises.

Preparation
Every aspect of a presentation must be planned ahead of time. Students must know who they are speaking to and have ample time to practice and gather materials. A presentation does not need to be memorized, but students must understand that notes or a guideline is expected. An outline maintains focus and reduces the anxiety of forgetting something or fearing that your mind will go blank.

Entertain Your Audience
Some of the most entertaining speakers are those that speak from their heart. Encourage students to tie in a personal experience or story. A relevant joke or funny anecdote can break the ice and set the tone for the presentation. It’s important to use voice inflection, pauses, and sustained eye contact to connect with your audience. When a presenter seems to be enjoying themselves, the audience will be interested.

Positive Thinking
Avoid "stinking thinking" by telling yourself you’re going to make a mistake. This leads to anxiety and (you guessed it) mistakes. Before your presentation, picture the audience reacting in a positive way to your speech. Tell yourself that in five minutes the presentation will be over. Remind yourself that the presentation is only a small part of your day and it should not be agonized over.

Through preparation, practice and a positive attitude, every student can overcome their public speaking fears and give themselves a valuable skill they will need later in life.

Group Exercise: Fear is Normal

Children are often afraid of admitting they are scared. New social situations, speaking in front of the class, answering questions aloud, making new friends, participating in physical education, or meeting a new teacher are common fears associated with school. Fears may not be verbalized because students feel they are alone in their feelings.

By discussing common fears associated with classrooms or school environments, students feel validated and more secure in moving forward. It’s important for students to understand that their fears are not unique and experienced by many.

Try this simple exercise to examine student fears and to create a starting point for student discussion. Start by asking students to write down one fear connected to school, such as being afraid to make new friends. Underneath the fear, ask students to write three possible solutions. Solutions might include sitting with new kids at lunch time at least once a week, playing with new kids at recess, or asking someone to participate on group projects.

The goal of the exercise is for students to understand that everyone has fears and that they can, and should, be overcome.

Perfectionism

In 2001, a report released by the State of our Nation’s Youth found that 62% of teens say that pressure to have good grades is a problem. In 2008, the same study found that the percentage increased to 79% (Connect with Kids, 2009).

Although perfectionism is not realistic, some students have difficulty accepting mistakes in any form or degree.
Counselors at the University of Dundee have found the following feelings, thoughts, and beliefs to be associated with perfectionism: fear of failure, fear of making mistakes, fear of disapproval, an all-or-nothing philosophy, and the belief that others are easily successful.

Perfectionism ironically robs students of opportunities to learn and grow because they avoid circumstances that present the potential for mistakes.

How can educators help? Discuss realistic and unrealistic goals with students. Ask them what they think is an acceptable level of success. Help students recognize the value of “the process” of learning as opposed to focusing on the end result.

Ask them what can be learned from mistakes, and have students realistically think about the repercussions of their mistakes.  Remind them that their thoughts and actions need to be healthy, and that they should focus on realistic goals and challenges.

“The” Test

Let’s face it - standardized tests cause stress! The pressure of “passing” has become highly emphasized so much so that students are often overwhelmed with test anxiety as they seek to earn a “perfect score.” Don't let your students loose their cool before their next big test. Discuss these test-taking strategies with your students and motivate them to do their best without the stress.

Think Positive!
Ask students to envision reading the test questions and calmly marking the answers. Conversely, they should stay clear of negative thoughts and not motivate themselves with fears of not passing. Remind students that they should focus on effort and not on outcome.

Exercise!
Have students practice taking deep breaths, meditating, and staying relaxed. A brain works like a muscle - the better shape your body and brain are in, the faster and more efficiently they will operate.

Eat right!
Skipping breakfast is never a good idea, especially on a test day. Encourage students to give their body the fuel it needs to perform at its best.

Comfort counts!
Suggest that students wear their favorite jeans or write with their lucky pencil.

Have right attitude!

Brain Power in Breakfast

As a new semester begins, instill in students the value of eating breakfast each morning. Breakfast meals containing a lot of sugar with little nutritional value need to be avoided. Breakfasts should be high in fiber, whole grains, and protein and low in sugar and salt. When children have a healthy breakfast, they can boost their attention span, concentration, and memory -- all of which are crucial for academic success.

Encouraging students to eat a healthy breakfast is a win-win for both the student and the teacher. The student learns and the teacher’s efforts are productive. If time is a factor, integrate health into the curriculum by asking students to write a “how-to” on preparing a fast, healthy breakfast (peanut butter on a bagel with fresh fruit and low-fat milk or a breakfast smoothie).

Students may also write a persuasive summary on the importance of breakfast for acquiring needed nutrients. Research has shown that a healthy breakfast each morning “tends to keep weight under control, lowers blood cholesterol levels and results in fewer school absences” (KidsHealth, 2009).

Skip the Fries, Please!

Trendy fast-food meals make their way into the vast majority of student diets. American culture’s fascination with quick, easy meal delivery has led to high-calorie, low nutritional intake. “There are many obstacles to children’s good nutrition today, including advertising efforts of the fast food industry that are aimed at children” (Education World, 2009).

The last few years have brought changes to the fast food industry including offering fruits and vegetables instead of chips and fries. Dr. Antonia Demas, president of the Food Studies Institute, says there’s “a perception that kids will not eat healthy foods, but they will if they receive positive education that is hands-on and sensory-based” (Education World, 2009).

“Schools are meeting nutritional challenges by using exercise curricula!” (Education World, 2009)

Snacking

“Experts say that snacking on the right foods is not harmful; In fact, it can have health benefits for kids of all ages” (WebMD, 2009). Encourage students to drink plenty of water and bring healthy snacks to school, like fruits and vegetables. “Many kids eat lunch early and then have an afternoon of classes and maybe even an after-school activity before their next chance to eat.”

Snack size portions of pretzels or nuts can be filling while apples, oranges, and bananas are easy to peel and carry; all of these offer good nutritional value as well as an energy boost. “Studies show that snacking during the school day improves both mood and motivation, and may impact concentration. Snacks may help children maintain performance during times of high mental demand, like when taking an exam or making a class presentation” (WebMD, 2009).

“A good snack should take no more time to eat than it does to prepare!” (Kids Health, 2009)

Food Guide Pyramid

Challenge students to understand how the food guide pyramid, established by the U.S. Department of Agriculture, can help them make healthy better food choices. The pyramid provides the opportunity for students to analyze food portion sizes and the importance of a well-balanced diet.

Here’s a step-by-step lesson example:
    1) Display or provide copies of the food guide pyramid to students.
    2) Discuss the pyramid, including food group areas and serving portions.
    3) Ask students to list their top five or ten favorite foods. Where are these foods located on the pyramid?
    4) Ask students to divide their list into two columns – healthy and not healthy.
    5) Ask students to write what they’ve discovered and if any changes are needed in their diet.

Children and Divorce: The Educator’s Role

Educators prepare daily for academic instruction, but they can't anticipate the emotional distractions each child carries with them into the classroom. “Children come to school to learn, but they are truly individual people and they come with whatever they come with; we can’t expect them to turn off what is going on with them” (divorce360, 2009).

Excitement at home typically spills over into the classroom whether it’s acquiring a new pet or looking forward to a family event. Likewise, anxiety and depression from a family separation or divorce can affect behavioral and academic performance. Kids who worry “about their parents’ regular conflicts tend to have more difficulties in school” (KidsHealth, 2009). The U.S. Census bureau has estimated that over 50 percent of all American children “will live in single-parent homes sometime during their first 18 years, mostly as a result of separation or divorce” (ERIC Digests, 2009).

Reactions to lifestyle changes impact the classroom and the individuals working with children. When children feel they can talk to educators and counselors, "everyone involved with the student watches for any signs of emotional difficulty as a response” says Cheli Cerra, M.Ed.. School is a familiar setting of continuity and routine when everything outside of school is not. Educators are key leaders in the supportive role students need during times of turmoil and uncertainty.

Caught in the Middle?

Educators are often inadvertently made unwilling participants of a family’s conflict but when helping students through tough times, such as a divorce, it’s important to not get caught in the middle (SPARC, 2009).

The Separated Parenting Access & Resource Center has recommended the following guidelines for educators.

• Make no assumptions by listening to one side of the story.
• An educator is not responsible for parent negotiations.
• Continue to foster positive relationships between the student and both parents.
• Continue to encourage parental involvement. “Studies show that parent involvement at school, especially with non-custodial parents, can have a positive impact on a child’s performance at school”
• Become familiarized with the law, such as FERPA (The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act).
• Keep your personal emotions in check and follow only court directives. It’s the law: “Section 99.4 of the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) states that an educational agency or institution shall give full rights under the ACT to either parent.

The Student’s Broken Dream

Educators, specifically teachers, realize that for students to learn, they must be comfortable in their learning environment. “Educators can be aware of and sensitive to the emotional turmoil that engulfs students because of these problems and offer a caring, stable environment in a time of upheaval” (Yale,2009).

Withdrawing from friends, a drop in academic performance and acting out may all be signs that a student’s home environment is changing. The ripple effect of separation, divorce, or the mere mention of it, can spill over into the classroom as a student wonders how to explain the changes to others.

Children often avoid asking questions for fear of adding to their parent’s anxiety and in return are left in the dark adding to their uncertainties and stress.

The Blame Game

A traumatic emotional experience such as divorce frequently involves the assignment of blame as students shift the cause or reason onto themselves. Students must understand that a separation or divorce is between two adults and although affected, they are not to blame. By discussing divorce openly, students will discover they are not alone. Whether a student is at the beginning stage of divorce, in the middle, or has adjusted, students need to see that the process ends favorably.

The School Counselor

The school counselor is a valuable resource for children during times of family separation and divorce. From support services to suggestions, the school counselor can be instrumental in positively impacting the student as well as the parents. “Counselors can also help to sensitize teachers to the transition a child is experiencing and to the implications of that transition” (ERIC Digests, 2009).

If a student is missing homework assignments, for example, the teacher’s awareness will benefit the student by allowing more time for completion or by offering alternate grade opportunities.

Counselors can help children understand what is going on in their lives as a result of their parents' divorce and develop a plan to cope with the change and become a successful student and well-adjusted young person.

Reassuring a Parent's Love

Reminding a child that their birth was a joyous occasion “stimulates the sharing of common emotions” and reminds him that there was a day of celebration (Yale, 2009). Parents often tell their child that it was their happiest day or the best day of their life, reassuring the child in a divorce situation that she is still loved.

The reaction of grandparents, siblings, relatives, or even adoption facilitators demonstrates the central
unity created by the child’s birth or arrival (Yale, 2009).

It’s important for students to understand that even with a negative experience such as divorce, positive things happened in the past and that day will still be celebrated annually on their birthday.

“Provide practical lessons and activities for students on issues and problems surrounding and created by divorce.” (Yale, 2009)

My Child? A Bully?

When sending children to school, it is every parent's fear that, at some point, their child will be bullied either on the school grounds or via cyberbullying. Whether it's name-calling or violence or  social exclusion by other students, bullying can ruin a child's experience of the education system. It has even led some children to drop out of school, commit suicide, or commit acts of violence against others - Columbine is just one of many tragic examples.  Thankfully, there are an increasing number of resources available to help children who are being bullied and to provide advice for their parents, teachers, and school counselors. But what many parents find equally hard to deal with, and what is seldom addressed in the same depth, is what you should do if you discover that your child is bullying others.

Even the best raised children can turn into bullies. Often parents are unaware of what's going on until they are contacted by the child's school or directly witness a bullying incident. Often the first instinct of parents is usually to deny that their child could be capable of such a thing. Children experience aggressive urges just as adults do, but many parents get into the habit of thinking of children’s bullying behavior as innocent child’s play.

Why Do Children Bully?

There are many reasons for bullying behavior. Some children may not realize the damage they're doing, especially if the bullying is entirely verbal. They may think they're just teasing, and not realize that their behavior is causing serious emotional distress for other children. Children are not born aware that other people have feelings like their own. It's something they have to learn as they grow up, and, as a parent,  you can help by talking to them about it. Discuss imaginary bullying situations and ask them to imagine what it would be like to be the victim.   Then  talk to your children about keeping somebody, whether it’s a friend, teammate, or fellow student. from feeling hurt or sad because it is not pleasant to feel the way a victim feels when bullied.

Discuss the kinds of unacceptable behavior (hitting, screaming, shaking, etc.) that people use when they're upset, and suggest to your chldren that, when they demonstrate this type of behavior themselves, they should stop at once and redirect their behavior in a more positive, less threatenig manner. Whether or not they believe that their own actions are bullying or harmful.

Explain to your children that some people are more upset by some types of behavior than others are. If your child has a particular fear, for instance, he or she might realize that other people are less frightened by the object of the fear than he or she is, and you can use this to explain how different people get upset.  If your child understands how someone else feels, you will start to build the ability to have empathy in your child and begin to eliminate bullying traits.

Provide Examples of Postive Behavior

Some children bully because they don't know any other ways to interact with other children. They may well have witnessed other children bullying. Dramatic behavior like this is easily copied by children, and may be more obvious than quiet friendly play. If you think this is the case, encourage your child to observe the different and positive ways that other children interact. Participation in sports, social and hobby  groups in and out of school may give your child a chance to practice approaching new social situations, and be immersed in those situations, with postive behavior. Your child may believe that stopping bullying behavior  is a sign of weakness and may put him or her in a position to be bullied. You can only overcome this fear with a lot of reassurance. Find examples of other children who are friendly to one another without any bullying. Talk to your child's teacher and school guidance counselor to make sure your child is supported and observed while he/she  adjusts to a new pattern of behavior.  The counselor and teacher can give you updates and examples of when your child demonstrates postive behaivor self-management. 

A Cry For Help

Sometimes children bully as a cry for help when they really want more attention. If this seems to be the case, try to make more time to spend with your child, but give attention, reassurance and praise only when your child is behaving in an acceptable, positive way and displays behavior self-managment skills. Be careful not to let your child feel rewarded for bullying behavior. Save your strongest praise for the times when your child makes a special effort to help others.

Other children bully because they feel angry, and they need an outlet for aggressive behavior. This may be an indication that something else is wrong in your child's life, so it's important that you talk about it. Remember, children may find it difficult to admit to serious problems all at once, so lots of small conversations can be more productive. Alert your child’s teacher and school counselor if there is a dramtic or traumatic change in the family siutation such a the military deployment of a family member, job loss, death, or divorce. Encourage your child to talk to the counselor and other adults who can help channel anger into positive, productive activities. Taking time to talk to you child about how he/she feels will reinforce to the child that he/she has someone to provide comfort and solace.  Once feeling safe, children will feel more comfortable to both recognize and talk, litle by little, about their bullying behavior and how to resolve it. 

Sometimes bullying behavior from a child  may be that your child is reaching an age where hormones trigger aggression. Talk to your child about acceptable ways of relieving stress. Often angry children benefit from having some physical activity through which to work off all that aggressive energy. This might be a good time for them to take up a new sport or hobby.  Always encourage your child to think about the long-term social consequences of taking out anger on other people. Explain that losing one's temper with others is a sign of being out of control, and that it may other children think your child is insecure and immature. Find good examples of adults handling stressful situations in calmer ways and share those examples with your children.

Home Not-So-Sweet Home

As unfortunate as it is, there are, sadly, occasions in which bullying can be inspired by imitation of adult behavior. If there are often-raised voices in your home, even if you don't think any harm is being done, this may encourage your child to shout at other children in an aggressive manner. If family members use threats or physical force to get their own way, this may cause your child to believe that physical aggression and verbal threats are a normal part of social interaction. Encourage any aggressive family members to think about the effects on the child before behaving that way. If you can't get away from the examples of negative, aggressive behavior at home, try to find good examples outside of the family home to counter them with. Explain why you personally admire people who solve their problems without aggression. Your child may not admit it, but your opinion is an important part of establishing what's normal and acceptable.

Don’t Make Excuses; Teach Responsible Behavior

Don't allow yourself to make excuses for your child. Whatever has caused it, bullying behavior needs to be taken seriously and steps taken to eliminate it. If bullying behavior is dealt with promptly and diligently, it should be only a minor episode in your child's life. It may well be that your child has been encouraged to bully by his or her peers, but try to avoid telling yourself that it's really all the other children's fault. Your child has to learn to take responsibility for his or her own actions and their consequences. This will make childhood a happier experience for everyone.

Cyberbullying: Nothing to Laugh At

The anonymity provided by the Internet makes it easy to do things we wouldn't do in real life. People become dehumanized, and their flaws may seem magnified. For bullies, who dehumanize their victims anyway, the Internet just makes it more convenient to torment them.  For regular bullying victims who have typically found sanctuary at home, cyber bullying is making their lives hell.

More often than not, cyberbullying starts between classmates. Joanne, a 14-year-old freshman at a private California high school, was interviewed by USA Today in 2005. After having a fight with a friend at a sleepover, she was harassed for three months with threatening emails and insulting comments on her blog. "I dreaded going on my computer." The cyberbullying didn't stop until both her parents school officials became involved.

Sometimes cyberbullying becomes even more sinister. In 2006 Megan Meier, a shy thirteen-year-old thought she'd finally found a friend on MySpace. Josh, a boy who lived nearby, started contacting her. He seemed to like her. He claimed to be homeschooled, which explained why they had never met. After a month, Josh abruptly cut off contact with her, saying he'd heard she was mean to her friends.

Megan was heartbroken. October 17, 2006, as Megan's mother headed out to a doctor's appointment, she told her daughter to log off MySpace. Megan did not. Josh continued sending cruel messages, saying "Megan Meier is a slut. Megan Meier is fat." Megan called her mother in tears. When her mother returned home, she was surprised at the foul language Megan had used when responding to these messages. She told her she was disappointed, and Megan ran upstairs. Her father attempted to comfort her, and she retreated to her room. Twenty minutes later, she hanged herself.  Her mother found her and immediately took her to the hospital, where she died the next day.

Who was Josh? It turned out "he" was a fake MySpace profile created by the parents of one of Megan's friends. The mother told the local sheriff she had hoped to gain Megan's confidence, to find out what Megan was saying about her own daughter to others. But the daughter gained control of the profile, and started using it to torment Megan.

Megan's life is over, and the lives of her family members have been all but destroyed - all because of some mean-spirited cyber bullying. Although Megan was medicated for depression and ADD, her parents say she was upbeat and happy until the Josh fiasco.

Student Bullying: A Serious Problem

It occurs in schools nationwide on a daily basis, on playgrounds, and in classrooms. Student bullying has become a serious problem among kids and teenagers as one child tries to exert dominance over another using unkind tactics such as name calling, teasing, and verbal threats. Although such behavior is considered to be common, and, to some unenlightened parents and teachers, almost a part of growing up, student bullying may have longer term consequences for both the child and the victim.

According to a study published in the Archives of General Psychiatry, bullying may be the forerunner to more serious pathologic personality traits and behaviors. Researchers looked at a group of 1,655 seventh and eighth grade students to determine the effects student bullying might have on future behavior. By using special student surveys and psychological testing, researchers were able to identify who the bullies were as well as their victims. By following the students longer term, they were able to determine the effects student bullying had on both bullies and their victims.

The results? Findings indicate that students identified as being bullies were more likely to have problems with longer term aggressive behavior. Students found to be victims of student bullying were also more likely to have future social problems, commonly experiencing difficulties interacting with others in a healthy manner.

Because of the association, this study showed the correlation between student bullying and longer term psychosocial problems, the researchers stated that more efforts should be made to control the problem of student bullying through special school programs. As it turns out, bullying in the school setting may have long term implications for both the victim and the bully. Correcting this problem at an early age may be an important step towards reducing the incidence of school violence that appears to be more common in recent years.

What can be done if you think student bullying is a problem at your child’s school? Talk to your child’s teachers and make them aware of the problem. If the bullying continues, talk to the principal about starting a program to educate teachers about the problem and how to handle it. Student bullying is more than just a childhood activity to be outgrown. It is a harmful behavior that may lead to future problems with aggression, and, in the worst case, serious school violence.

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Article author, Dr. Kristie is a medical doctor with a concentration in family practice.  She possesses undergraduate degrees in both biology and psychology as well as a master’s degree in clinical pathology.

Childhood Bullying and the Risk of Psychosis

It can be difficult being a child, especially if you’re a kid who’s bullied by his friends and classmates. While bullying is sometimes dismissed as a normal part of growing up, there’s evidence that the effect on the child who’s bullied may be long-lasting and severe. According to a new study, children who are bullied are more likely to develop serious psychiatric problems when they grow into adolescence. This study, which was published in the Archives of General Psychiatry, showed that children who were bullied between the ages of eight and ten were twice as likely to develop psychotic symptoms when they entered adolescence when compared to kids who weren’t bullied during childhood. The risk of developing psychotic symptoms was even higher in children who were teased and harassed repeatedly over a number of years. Although the researchers are quick to point out this doesn’t prove cause and effect, there seems to be a strong association between children that are bullied and the development of mental illness. Psychotic symptoms experienced by children who are bullied can range from delusional thoughts to outright hallucinations and completely disorganized thinking.

It’s not surprising that children who are bullied might develop psychological problems. Some studies have shown that bullied children go on to develop adult depression and social anxiety. It appears that the effects of being teased and shunned by other kids may very well follow a child into adolescence and adulthood. What’s more surprising is that kids who are bullied may be at risk of a complete psychotic break during adolescence.

Because kids that are bullied may be at higher risk of serious mental problems, it’s important to identify the problem early. Unfortunately, some bullied children may be embarrassed to talk about the problem making it a real challenge for parents to get involved.  Some signs that a child may be bullied at school include reluctance to go to school; seeming withdrawn; changes in appetite and sleep patterns; declining grades, unexplained injuries and bruises; frequent crying; and other signs of depression; and anxiety.

If  parents  suspect their child is being bullied and he or she’s reluctant to talk about it, the best approach is to make an appointment with the child’s teachers who will usually be aware of this type of problem. As a parent, once aware that your child’s being bullied, you can take steps to open up the line of communication with your child and enlist the help of the school, if necessary. Bullying should never be ignored or chalked up as a natural part of childhood. According to this study, children who are bullied may be a set-up for serious psychological problem during adolescence and even adulthood.

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Article author, Dr. Kristie is a medical doctor with a concentration in family practice.  She possesses undergraduate degrees in both biology and psychology as well as a master’s degree in clinical pathology.

Obstacles to Successful Anti-Bullying School Strategies

Linda Hourston

Bullying: The intention to hurt, threaten or frighten through words or actions which manifests either physically, mentally, directly or indirectly.

Dr Ken Rigby, an adjunct Professor with the University of South Australia and leading education authority, estimates one in six Australian children aged between eight and eighteen are bullied weekly. He suggests appropriate, timely action taken by both school and parents, can greatly reduce the incidence and prevalence of bullying. He adds, “it’s widely accepted that bullying is prevalent in all schools, and that the degree to which anti-bullying programs were applied, was significantly related to their success.”

Schools need to consider interpersonal, organizational, environmental and cultural factors in order to effectively reduce the frequency and severity of bullying. Schools also need to provide professional development training for teachers. “Teacher attitudes to bullying are pivotal to its reduction. Any lack of teacher knowledge means a school’s capacity to respond to bullying in an effective and timely way, is severely hampered.”, says Lyndall Horton-James

Parental recognition of bullying behavior is another factor hampering school-based anti-bullying strategies. Ms Horton-James explains, “in my experience (and I deal with these issues on an almost daily basis) parents don’t adequately understand bullying and what’s effective in stopping it. Far too often parents wait (often months) after their child has disclosed they’re being bullied, before reporting it to the school. By this stage, the bullying has become entrenched and far more difficult to remedy than if it had been dealt with when it first started. Parents need to ‘nip’ bullying in the bud and report it immediately.”

It would be easy to point the finger of blame at schools, or teachers or indeed parents, but as Ms Helen Tunney, a Junior School Team Leader in a large (Reception to Year 12) Australian school points out, there are further, deeply compelling reasons why bullying is still so prevalent in schools today:

• Increasing mental, social and emotional problems among all members of a school community including children, parents, carers and school staff. The westernised lifestyle is becoming complex, fragmented and sedentary. The community, more than ever, is increasingly asset-rich but time-poor with values and ethics becoming confused, and religious doctrines abandoned. Today, the ‘self’ is generally held in higher regard than the ‘common good’.

• An aging population of school staff which results in an ever-increasing age gap between teachers and students. This results in clashing values, limited tolerance and understanding of the lives of children and parents today. Poor health, less than optimal energy and job enthusiasm are all consequences of this age gap phenomenon. Teaching and managing large classes is becoming an overwhelming task that frequently feels unmanageable for some school staff.

• The breakdown of adult-child positional power. Children are continually challenging adult authority, which was taken for granted in past generations. “It’s good the ‘bad old ways’ have gone – as they should be,” Ms Tunney says, “but in many instances they haven’t been replaced with anything effective.”

• The 'guilty parent' syndrome. Some parents don’t set effective boundaries and standards for their children, usually because the parent has been socialised to believe their child mustn’t ever be unhappy or dissatisfied. If they are, then it must be their fault for being a ‘bad’ parent, so the children gain all the power within a family. The parent then ‘gives up’ on discipline and abandons their parental role, replacing it with an over-emphasis on advocacy and friendship. This results in conflict between a school’s values and responsibilities to protect the rights of all students, and many parents’ values of, ‘my child is never wrong’. The ongoing tension between a school and such parents sabotages efforts to reduce bullying.

• Lack of courage in some schools to apply appropriate consequences for bullying behaviours. This is often amplified by the lack of courage of some parents and students to accept consequences.

• Trial by media. The ‘expose’ of ‘bad schools’ by current affairs television, undermines a community’s trust in its schools and teachers, thus sustaining the ‘guilty parent’ phenomenon.

• Media influence on children. The ‘tweenage’ syndrome sees children acting out teenage behaviours before they physically become teenagers. There’s increasing exposure to all kinds of violence, not just through real life media or news reporting, but also television drama that’s teenage/adult in content.

• The government’s refusal to recognise the implications and complexity of a teacher’s work, by significantly lowering class sizes. Today’s children need more personal space and greater access to adults. They’re generally far more indulged in their personal lives and are unwilling, or unable to cope without it at school.

• Lack of primary and secondary school counsellors. Despite government promises, not all schools have either councellors or councelling time available.

Clearly, there’s no quick fix. Bullying is an extremely complex and inter-related social issue. Parents, schools and communities need to be communicating, involved and supportive of recognised and consistent programs for the issue of bullying to be adequately addressed, and school based policies to be effective.

End Suffering from Bullying. Improve Academics

The Bullies Are a Pain In the Brain bully prevention curriculum is a research-based supplemental curriculum, which teaches students behavior self-management skills, reduces bullying situations, and increases ELA academic skills.

The curriculum teaches students important safety skills and bully prevention strategies such as coping with peer pressure, cyberbullying, managing conflict and seeking help from adults, family, and friends. The lessons in Bullies Are a Pain in the Brain teach students about bullies, victims, and bystanders and improve student behavior. 

The results are an improved school environment climate and students who are focused on academics rather than the emotional fear and pain of bullying. Increased academic skills acquisition leads to improved academic performance as evidenced in the Bullies Are a Pain in the Brain efficacy study.

Aligned to state ELA performance standards, NAEP Frameworks, and ASCA standards for personal and social development, Bullies Are a Pain in the Brain, specifically increases reading skills, writing skills, and vocabulary development within a classroom.

Bullies Are a Pain in the Brain involves parents in proactive bully prevention with Take-Home worksheets, surveys, and more. 

The classroom set contains

• Teacher Curriculum Guide, 9 Thematic Units
• 20 Leveled Readers
  
• 20 Student Workbooks
  
• 20 Writing Journals with Writing Prompts
  
• 20 Collectable Bookmarks
  
• Poster
  
• Award-winning DVD
  
• Available in Spanish and English

State Standards correlations

• Alabama
  
• Arizona
  
• Arkansas
  
• California
  
• Florida
  
• Georgia
  
• Illinois
  
• Michigan
  
• New York
  
• North Carolina
  
• Pennsylvania
  
• Texas
  
• Virginia
  
• Washington
  
• Wisconsin
  
• Wyoming

Curriculum Information

Get complete information HERE.

Bullying: Surviving the Social World

Happiness is a concept we hold dear, and most parents feel that happiness is a key to the emotional and social growth of their child. Lawrence Cohan, Ph.D., a psychologist, consultant, and author, says that the teasing of a child by another child is very difficult for the parents as well. Adults understand that all friendships and relationships will have good and bad times, however many parents simply don't understand the nature of "healthy" peer relationships. Dr.

Traumatic peer-related events may include occasional teasing and name-calling, anxiety associated with the beginning of a new school year, not be invited to a party or other group event happen to all children…in moderation. So when does normal become abnormal?

Think of words like never, frequently, constantly, or regularly. If your child never receives an invitation, frequently speaks of teasing, constantly avoids going to school, or regularly speaks of bullying or being bullied, then his or her social interactions may be a cause for concern.

Michael Thompson, who is a child psychologist and school consultant, explains that when a child is on either end of the social spectrum, he or she may need guidance in finding a "social place” (PBS; 2008). Cohan describes friendship as “social experimentation” and suggests we talk with children empathetically, and help children find their inner resilience.

Promoting Healthy Social Skills

A decade ago, children freely roamed neighborhoods visiting their friends. Football games, races, riding bicycles, and coming in at dark were part of childhood. Tactile games allowed children ample opportunities to use their imaginations, have conversations with one another, and take part in physical activity. Younger generations are consumed with, and surrounded by a plethora of media, spending large amounts of time watching television, playing video games, and exploring the internet.

Diane Leven, a Professor of Education at Wheelock College, explains that adults can limit the impact media has on their social and emotional development time by fostering a repertoire of activities that are outside the realm of television, the Internet, and other media (Levy, PBS; 2008).

Technology is a large part of learning in today’s world but educators and parents must encourage kids to discuss what they’re watching and doing. They can also set limits as to how much time is spent on isolated activities. Leven emphasizes the importance of children interacting with others when they are young, citing research that has found that "patterns of behavior at age eight are related to behavior in adulthood” (Levy, Winnetka Alliance; 2008).

When My Child is Teased

Children tease one another and call one another names. Usually, name-calling and teasing is done with a fun, well-intentioned spirit. At other times, a child may purposefully hurt another individual by the words and names he or she is using. If your child approaches you with teasing or namecalling concerns, Dr. Beth M. Levy, a school psychologist, has suggested the following strategies to help children manage these situations:

1) Repeat and clarify what is said so he or she knows you sincerely understand.
2) Praise your child when he or she attempts to problem-solve on his or her own.
3) Practice keeping the emotions in check by role-playing situation examples.
4) Ask your child to look you in the eyes when speaking, demonstrating confidence.
(Levy, NASP; 2008)

Social skills include having an assortment of coping strategies. When we tell children to “ignore” a problem, we are asking them to mask their true emotions. This may be confusing, as children may interpret their feelings as insignificant or misunderstood. When we discuss our child’s concerns, we are saying, “Your thoughts and feelings matter. I hear you. I’m listening.”

Bullying Truth or Myth

Kids will be kids. Bullying is part of growing up. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services describes bullying as “aggressive behavior that involves an imbalance of power or strength, often repeated over time” (HRSA; 2008). The intense and chronic antagonism that signifies bullying is not a normal “part of growing up.” It is an abnormal and destructive behavior.

When a student is bullied, his or her physical and mental well being is targeted. Mentally, there may be increased feelings of loneliness and anxiety. Physically, a child may complain about his or her head or stomach; sleeplessness may occur. Problems eventually escalate, affecting grades and attendance.

Those who intimidate tend to have their own burdens as well. A bully may bring worries from home into the school. He or she may feel popularity is gained by putting down others. Intimidators often fear losing control or being caught. Bullying is not just “child’s play” and should be taken seriously.

Growing Little People

As parents, we’re in charge of molding our child to become a self-assured, independent adult. We love our children and when our child comes to us, we want to “fix” things. We want to make things better. We must be careful, however, not to remain the “problem solver.”

Lawrence Cohen, Ph.D. suggests we encourage children to solve their own problems by first asking what they’ve done, what they’ve tried, what else can be tried, or how what they did worked? (PBS; 2008). Asking empowering questions facilitates social independence.

Solutions are not always easy for a child to find. You may ask, “What would you like me to do to help?” Dr. Cohen strongly encourages parents to “help your child figure out his own solution” (PBS; 2008). If your child has difficulty finding the words to explain her emotions, say something like, “You seem to feel lonely” or “Your words are telling me you may feel disappointed.” When we guide children to discover their own solutions, we create self-sufficient adults.

Stepping Up to Help Out

Many parents would like to do more at their child’s school but it’s often hard to know how to contribute effectively. If you want to make a difference in your child’s school, begin by asking the office how you can volunteer. You may be asked to do several things but choose what you’re most comfortable with. Whether it’s helping plan an event, working for the teacher, shelving books in the library, or reading to a class, there’s so much you can do.

Elementary students, especially, love having you around their school and classmates. Your involvement shows a child you care about their education and you want to know more about their school and friends. Above all others, your child desires your interest and approval. One warning: You will be surrounded at lunch with your new-found friends!

BULLYING: Take Action

“A very substantial percentage of the population views bullying as a rite of passage.” -Dr. Ted Feinberg

Research indicates that bullying behavior, when not addressed, frequently leads to increasingly serious behavioral issues, “exacting a terrible toll on children” with lasting scars (NEA, 2008). Bullying behavior becomes habitual and a bully “may not develop a mature sense of justice” (NCPA, 2008). Thoughts of suicide, criminal activity, and family violence into adulthood can be the consequences when these destructive behaviors go unabated (NEA, 2008; NYVPRC, 2008).

The bystander, even when not directly tormented, still may suffer the consequences of bullying. Bystanders can be “deeply affected, feeling angry, guilty and helpless” because either they don’t know what to do, or feel guilt for doing nothing (NEA, 2008). The target of continued bullying begins to live with a constant sense of fear, dreading the next incident. Anxiety, humiliation, depression, and stress often lead to physical symptoms that typically affect school attendance and performance (NEA, 2008; NCPA, 2008).

Worse, as a child gets older, he or she may believe violence is the only solution to their misery. “One of the common areas that binds all of the school shooters together is all of them were the victim of bullying” (PBS, 2008). Dr. Ted Feinberg states that bullies are sometimes dealt with in a “dramatic and final way” when victimization has continued without adult intervention (PBS, 2008). “In the end, all children are affected when bullying goes unaddressed” (CES, 2008).

Teasing & Name Calling

In the elementary years, when name-calling and teasing first begins, teachers are highly influential with students. “If teachers allow teasing to continue by not making attempts to stop this behavior, they can send a message that teasing is acceptable and the victims feel unsupported” (NASP, 2008). When educators do not accept name-calling and teasing behavior, students frequently begin to establish their own respectful and tolerant environment.

Who’s At Risk?

Surprisingly, bullies may be likeable, and thus have little difficulty in making friends. Bullies generally have a “strong need to dominate others” and also tend to be confident, with an inflated sense of self-esteem (NYVPRC, 2008). Bullies are commonly more physically aggressive, easily angered, impulsive, and may have problems at home (NYU, 2008). Bullies usually come from homes where there is little positive interaction and where discipline styles are either “extremely permissive or excessively harsh” (NYVPRC, 2008).

Dr. Ted Feinberg and a team of guidance counselors found that bullying is more prevalent in boys than girls, but the gap is narrowing (NASP, 2008). When correlating bullying behaviors to normal peer interactions, Dr. Feinberg found that bullies engage in adverse behaviors repeatedly, their actions are purposeful, they manifest limited emotional reaction or remorse, and there’s little effort applied to problem solving (NASP, 2008). Most importantly, Dr. Feinberg and his team found that bullying is more prevalent in “environments dominated by negative feedback and attention” (NASP, 2008). Educators play a critical role in the learning environment through discussions, positive behavior reinforcement, role-playing and utilizing character development curricula.

Do Bullies Prefer to be Alone?

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services debunked this statement, finding that just the opposite is true. Bullies not only have friends, but usually their friendship networks are more extensive than those of other children (HRSA, 2008). The friendship base is important to a bully because these individuals often support and encourage the bully by affirming negative behaviors.

Bullies typically attempt to promote the exclusion of others socially, which requires a group’s participation (NYU, 2008). From this, the bully derives feelings of power, popularity, and dominance. The HRSA found that bullies “generally have more leadership skills than victims of bullying,” including the ability to coerce others to remain silent (HRSA, 2008; NC, 2008).

An Easy Target

Targets of bullying are normally thought to be shy, insecure, have low self-esteem, and lack social skills. Targets generally have fewer friends which equates with reduced peer protection and feelings of rejection (NYU, 2008; NCPA, 2008). A bully may target a student because he or she is perceived to be “irritating, different, or socially awkward or insecure” (NYU, 2008).

Targets are not usually inclined to defend themselves, retaliate when bullied, or report bullying to adults (NYVPRC, 2008). A student who is targeted usually exhibits distress, relinquishes desired property or position when coerced, and may be physically weak (NYU, 2008).

What can educators do to help potential targets?

• Model and expect acts of respect.
• Ask the counselor to help with lessons promoting appropriate social skills.
• Highlight the “strengths or special talents of children who tend to be” targets of bullying (NASP, 2008).
• Focus on team-building principles, acts of kindness, and compassion.
• Discuss historical figures or personalities from fiction who demonstrate emotional control in times of fear or sadness.
• Role-play strength and confidence.

“Parents and teachers who observe bullying behavior and do nothing to stop it reinforce the behavior.” -Dr. Ted Feinberg

Breaking the Silence

Students who are bullied, as well as bystanders, routinely remain silent out of fear they will incur additional wrath, or become targets themselves. A bully becomes bolder when malicious behaviors continue unaddressed. However, students must understand they cannot defeat bullying alone; everyone must become involved.

The National Education Agency suggests that the culture in schools must encourage communication and convince students there is no shame in reporting harmful behaviors. “Any child who is bullied by another child or adult, or who sees another child being bullied, is urged to report the incident to designated school personnel” (NEA, 2008). In order to understand bullying, everyone must speak the same language as well. “A common vocabulary related to bullying, harassment, and interpersonal relations is essential to success” (NEA, 2008).

How Much Should Kids Handle?

“Work it out” or “solve the problem yourself” are common phrases adults use to encourage independence. However, asking a child to handle a tormentor on their own may be expecting too much. When a friend comes to the defense of another, it may help or end the bullying. “But one individual’s attempts don't necessarily stop the bully completely because the bullying often happens in a group situation” (NYU, 2008).

The target is commonly quiet, ashamed of being bullied. The bully encourages others to remain silent through intimidation. The bystanders, even friends of the antagonist, are relieved they’re not on the receiving end. “Thus, there is an unfortunate silent majority that is ill prepared, ineffective, and equally fearful” (NYU, 2008).

The Great Homework Debate

Recent years have seen a rise in the debate over the benefit of homework as it relates to student achievement. If every school district submitted a definition for homework, what differences would be found? According to the Education World’s Administrator’s Center, homework is any school-related activity that:
Helps students practice skills they haven’t fully learned yet, and helps them review skills they have learned.

• Encourages student responsibility and accountability.
• Helps develop study and time management skills.
• Strengthens home-to-school communication.
• Acknowledges student differences.
• Must be completed with in-home resources.
• Be part of the school’s developmental curriculum.

While there is much debate on the benefits of homework to student success, with research in the area producing conflicting results, the Center for Public Education found that homework benefits some students more than others:

• Older students benefit more from homework than younger students.
• Students from low-income homes may not benefit as much from homework as those from higher-income homes.
• Students with learning disabilities benefit from homework under certain conditions.
• Asian American students may benefit more from homework than do students from other ethnic groups.

Educators have noted that students’ lives are busy outside of the school day with little evening time and that some home environments are not conducive for homework (ASCD, 2008). The strongest argument came from the “one-size-fits-all” nature of homework, not specifically meeting every student’s individual need.
The pros and cons of homework are determining factors when defining homework. More importantly, determining what homework is and should be is a critical first step when creating a school homework policy (Education World, 2008).

For more information on the Homework debate:
Education World - http://www.educationworld.com/a_admin/admin/admin182.shtml
The National Education Association - http://www.nea.org/tools/16938.htm

Homework in the News:
Time Magazine - The Myth About Homework
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1376208,00.html

Washington Post - The Homework Debate: Kids, Parents and Teachers Disagree On How Much Is Too Much:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/01/26/AR2009012602012.html

Related information from Trevor Romain:
http://www.trevorromain.com/newsletters/EducatorNL-11-08.pdf

Is Homework Valuable?

C. Robert Henrikson, President and Chief Executive Officer of MetLife, Inc., reported a survey conducted for MetLife in 2007. In a 2008 study by Youth and Education researcher, Dana Markow, Ph.D.,  83% of teachers, 81% of parents, 77% of students believe homework holds value and is important or very important. However, the same study found that over one-quarter of the students surveyed believed their homework was not relevant to their current schoolwork or their future goals.

Researchers Etta Kralovec and John Buell presented a compelling case against homework assignments in 2000 with their book, The End of Homework: How Homework Disrupts Families, Overburdens Children, and Limits Learning.  In the book, the authors argue that homework unintentionally penalizes economically disadvantaged children because their home environment makes completing assignments either extremely difficult or impossible.

In 2006, authors Sara Bennett and Nancy Kalish followed with The Case Against Homework,  which criticized both the amount and the relevance and quality of homework assigned to students. In 2006, author Alfie Kohn also published The Homework Myth: Why Our Kids Get Too Much of a Bad Thing, in which the author argures  that no research or study has yet to show the instructional effectiveness of homework and that it should only be assigned when it is beneficial to students.

While researchers on both ends agree that homework should indeed have a purpose, there is disagreement on what research suggests. Educational researchers Robert Marzano, Debra Pickering and Jane Pollock have all argued that research has supported homework’s effectiveness.

Homework, in a nutshell

While researchers debate the effectiveness of homework, both sides agree that schools should strengthen their polices to ensure that teachers use homework thoughtfully and purposefully. When assigning homework, educators should:

• Make sure homework serves an intended purpose (future learning, practicing a skill, etc.).

• Assignments should be challenging but not at an inappropriate level of difficulty. „hƒn Parents should be provided with a homework policy and their role in homework completion should be minimal.

• Monitor homework given and provide timely and helpful feedback.

Teachers who give their assignments thoughtful consideration understand they have a responsibility to ensure that homework does, indeed, work.

How Much is Too Much?

The question of how much homework to assign seems to be an easier question to answer according to a 2008 survey by Education World. Respondents to the study seemed to have a consistent response to a survey question that asked how much homework students should have over the course of a week.

Most educators responding to the survey agreed that 10 to 15 minutes of homework per night is an appropriate amount for each grade level of advancement. For example, a first grader would have 10 minutes but a third grader would have 30.

Bea McGarvey, an education consultant with 25 years of experience in education, encourages educators to “review the return," or to find purpose in homework assignments. Pragmatic, time-appropriate homework assignments offset the complaints by “ensuring that students reap the benefits of homework” (ASCD, 2008).

Homework, Research & Reward

In 2006, researchers Harris Cooper, Jorgianne Robinson and Erica Patall analyzed research statistics between 1987 and 2003 that compared students who were given homework to those who were not. “Across five studies, the average (fiftieth-percentile) homework doer had a higher unit test score than 73 percent of students not doing homework” (NCTM, 2008).

Robert Marzano and Debra Pickering argue that research does prove enhanced achievement “by extending learning beyond the classroom” (Marzano, 2008).  The same research study found that if homework were taken away, schools would have to find a way to replace it within the school hours which would take away from the already tightly confined school day schedule.

For many Americans, the academic achievement of American children compared to that of other countries is closely tied to performance. In 1994, the National Education Commission on Time and Learning stated that American public schools expect students “to learn as much as their counterparts abroad in only half the time” (ed.gov, 2008).

Shaping Ideas about Homework

Educator Brenda Dyck remembers when she and fellow colleagues were asked to rethink their homework policies. Over the next two months, the reform effort was enlightening but painful as teachers analyzed homework approaches. Some teachers found that their homework assignments were "unclear" or "complicated." 

Finding a suitable amount of homework can be difficult for educators because many seldom or never discuss the amount they assign with their colleagues. Examining homework levels and discussing the issue with colleagues not only helps teachers analyze it's use and effectiveness, it also creates a more uniform level of homework across the school as a whole.

What Every Parent and Educator Should Know About Cyberbullies

In only a few years, cyberbullying has turned from a fringe issue to one of the biggest causes of stress for children and teens. A recent study conducted by Bridgewater State College found that 70 percent of children reported that they had been a victim of an online or over-the-phone bully. These statistics should only increase with the sophistication and pervasiveness of technology in young people's lives.

Adults can play a powerful role in stopping cyberbullying. Talk to kids about keeping their passwords secret, and above all else, make them promise to tell you if someone makes them feel uncomfortable online or through their cell phone.

Parents should be aware of their children's activities online and instill that cellphone and Internet use is a privilege and not a right. They don't have to play the role of internet cop, but opening up a Facebook or Myspace account are both great ways to monitor your children's online activities.

If you feel that cyberbullying is creating a harmful environment for a young person you know, encourage your local school administrators and legislatures to adopt anti-cyberbullying policies and procedures in you area.

Five Ways Parents and Educators can Stop Cyberbullying:

• Become more tech savvy
• Monitor online and cellphone use
• Teach children about Internet safety
• Encourage cyberbullying legislation
• Sponser anti-cyberbullying school programs

For more information:
National Crime Prevention Council
http://www.ncpc.org/cyberbullying

Cyberbullying in the News:
State legislature proposes bill targeting cyberbullying
Grieving father on nationwide crusade against cyberbullying
Boston mayor launches anti-cyberbullying hotline

Combating Childhood Obesity at Home

The number of U.S. children classified as overweight has increased dramatically in the last twenty years. Because of the serious health risks associated with childhood obesity, a healthy lifestyle should be promoted and modeled by parents early while their children are forming their first and most influential eating and activity habits.

The most effective method for parents to raise healthy kids is by providing them with nutritious meals and snacks, promoting physical exercise through sports and outdoor activities, and by educating them about the merits of and methods for living a healthy life. Parents can also encourage healthy habits by eating well themselves and find ways to participate with their children in physical activities.

It also very important that parents are a positive influence on their children’s physical and mental health. A parent should keep their focus on a healthy lifestyle and not their children’s weight or physique. Since children develop in different ways and at varying speeds, their physical appearance is not the only determining factor of adolescent and childhood obesity. Parents should never put their children on a diet or give them medication for weight loss. A trained physician is the only person who should diagnose or treat obesity in children.

Parents can develop healthy habits in their children when they:

• include vegetables, fruits, and whole-grain in their meals.
• control and reduce the sugar in their children’s diet.
• provide only reasonably-sized portions.
• provide your family with plenty of water.
• remove calorie-rich and high-fat food options from your kitchen.
• encourage your children to play sports or participate in a physical activity.
• limit children’s sedentary time, such as time viewing T.V. or playing video games.

When your child is the bully
Most parents have a hard time coming to terms with a child who is a victim of bullying. It can be even more difficult for parents to admit and deal with the issues surrounding a son or daughter that is the one bullying. Bullying can have a long-lasting negative emotional impact on both parties involved, so look for the warning signs and talk to your kids about bullying to keep them on the right track.

Red flag traits of bullies

• they want to be in charge
• they easily control and manipulate emotions
• they ostracizes and excludes others
• they are unsympathetic to others
• they are frustrated and overly aggressive

Breaking the bullying habit
Stopping the behavior before it starts is the best way to keep your child from being branded a bully.

• create consequences for acts of bullying
• become a good role model
• talk to your child about the consequences of bullying
• make sure your child makes amends for their acts of bullying
• stay involved in your child’s emotional and social life

Keep an open mind and an open eye on your child

• Don’t go into “denial mode.”
• Get feedback from adults in your child’s life.
• Discourage your child from hanging around a tough or mean social group.
• Talk to your child’s school counselor for assistance.
• Help you child find non-violent, artistic, or athletic pursuits to express themselves.
• Follow through when acts of bullying are documented

Source:
GateHouse News Service

Original Article:
http://www.sj-r.com/features/x1848780021/Bully-patrol-What-to-do-when-the-mean-kid-is-your-kid

TV a No-No for Toddlers

The adverse effects of television viewing on young children have been suspected by child psychologists for some time. Although research has found strong evidence for the relationship between extended viewing of television and childhood obesity, until recently, finding emperical evidence of the immediate and longterm mental effects of early childhood television viewing have proven more elusive for researchers. Several new studies have shown that effects of television on developing minds may be more dramatic than has been previously theorized.

A pair of studies by The American Academy of Pediatrics and the University of Washington have found that TV viewing, even viewing of quality, educational television, is not beneficial for children under the age of three. While the AAP study suggests that TV does no immediate harm to children, the University of Washingto study found that TV viewing during the toddler years correlated to lower reading and short-term memory scores at six and seven years old. This suggest that the negative impact of TV on the minds of toddlers may not appear until later in life.

Another research study by Cornell University may have found a link between TV viewership and autism. Cornell researchers studied the rise in cases of autism that occurred during the early 1980’s. They discovered that children began devolping autism at a higher rate in counties that had cable service than in counties that did not. While this relationship is not totally understood, it is thought that cable services that included the colorful, two-dimensional stimulation of children’s programming could be viewed at any time during the day and for longer durations. The study also found that the more time that was spent viewing television increased the likelyhood of developing symptoms of autism disorders.

As a result of these and other studies, parents with children younger than two are advised to never let infants watch screen media, according to The American Academy of Pediatrics.

Related Links:

TV Really Might Cause Autism
http://www.slate.com/id/2151538/

No Benefit For TV Watching Toddlers:
http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1647584/no_benefit_for_tv_watching_toddlers/index.html

Any TV is bad TV for children under three:
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/231249_television05.html

American Academy of Pediatrics - Smart Guide to Kid's TV
http://www.aap.org/family/smarttv.htm

European Union and social websites agree to fight cyberbullying

Brussels, Feb 10 - Internet social websites including MySpace and Facebook signed a pact with the European Union to protect underage users from cyberbullying.

The European Commission announced that the agreement aimed to:

• Prevent searching of underage users with private profiles.
• Making available a "report abuse" software button, which allows users to easily report inappropriate online interactions.
• Putting default settings in place that automatically set private settings on underage user’s website pages.

Source:
Reuters News Service

Original Article:
http://uk.reuters.com/article/governmentFilingsNews/idUKLA36235620090210

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