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November 28, 2005
Boot Camp
Two years ago I gave a talk at a boot camp near San Benito in South Texas. It’s a camp for teenagers who have committed serious crimes from assault to armed robbery and drug dealing.
I was rather apprehensive when I walked into the camp because it was a true boot camp. Ex marines were yelling orders to teenagers who looked like bewildered army recruits. The teenage inmates all wore fatigues and had marine haircuts, including the girls.
I thought my visit was going to be a disaster because the inmates glared at me when I walked into the room. At first they tried to intimidate me by appearing not to be interested in what I was talking about. After sharing some of my harrowing army experiences and those involving dying children, everything changed.
I told them about my involvement with sick children and how some of the cancer kids I know would give anything to have the lives that the kids in detention were throwing away. I shared with them the words of my friend TJ who knew I was going to visit the boot camp. He said, “I wish I could have the lives those kids are wasting so I can live longer.”
The talk was one of the most emotional I have ever delivered. It was just one of those days. After opening my soul to those kids, everything clicked.
Some of the kids are in the detention facility for horrible crimes, but most of them are in trouble because they live a tough life influenced by their surroundings. Many of them have parents who are gang members, drug addicts, prostitutes and thieves. A large majority of those kids are simply influenced by bad role models. It’s so sad to see some potentially good kids sucked into an awful downward spiral as they continue the cycle of crime and violence created by their parents.
I ended my talk by telling the kids that being kind and making a difference in other people’s lives was one of the hardest things to do. I told them being kind was harder than being cruel. That taking drugs and robbing people was a lot easier to do than being compassionate and caring because to care for someone else you have to learn to care for yourself first and that’s not easy.
I dared the kids in that room to have the guts to make a difference in someone else’s life, as well as their own.
I heard murmurings of, “I can do that,” and “I’ve got #@% $ guts.” I saw many nodding heads accepting my challenge.
As I was leaving the facility one of the inmates, who was about fifteen years old, ran up and asked the counselor, who was walking with me, if he could have permission to speak.
The counselor nodded.
“I already make a difference,” he said, eagerly. “I stop the guys in here beating up the new kids on their first day. I stand up for them.”
“That is awesome,” I said. “You do make a difference. I’m proud of you, mate. I know it can’t be easy. Keep it up.” I patted him on the shoulder and smiled.
He smiled broadly. Then saluted me and ran off to join a group of inmates who were doing push ups.
“Get your ass over here,” said the instructor. “Do you think this is a holiday camp?”
“Sir, yes sir,” the boy answered, dropping to the ground to complete his push-ups.
The counselor told me that the boy’s mother was a prostitute who shoots up drugs in front of her children and the boy’s father was killed in a gang related drug deal gone wrong. She told me the boy was exceptionally gifted and very smart but was easily influenced by his environment and specially by his peers. He was in jail for countless burglaries, which were apparently perpetrated to feed his mother’s habit and the family.
The boy had a lovely smile that stayed with me for days.
I have some friends who are teachers in the area and know of the boy. Over the months I’ve kept up with him through them. He was released from the camp a few months ago after serving a year and a half.
Much to my horror I was informed this weekend that the boy was shot and killed in a gang shooting last month
I am truly saddened.
Posted by trevor at November 28, 2005 06:54 AM
Comments
Such a sad story and a haunting one, too. You've been touched by many whose lives have been short and meaningful. It must be very good for you to write about all of these experiences here. And I know you touch many people that way. Thank you for your generous spirit.
Posted by: nina at November 28, 2005 03:31 PM
Aw, Trevor! I am so sorry. I'll be praying for that young man's soul, and for you. Thank you for memorializing him in a way that not many people would -- with love and respect.
Posted by: Omnibus Driver at November 28, 2005 04:25 PM
I have tree kids they don't care about anything
they have been stealing, yelling at me an there teachers starting fights at school refused to do any work at school they refuse to clean up after themselves they hit there 5 an 6 year old sister an brother my 10 year old little girl walked out of my house without my knowing she left because she did not want me yelling at her for yelling at her teacher. I have tryed talking to them, letting it go, standing them in the corner making them sit at the table writing, reading, I've taken there tv toys time out side etc. I can taken much more an I don't know what to do!
Posted by: Robyn at June 12, 2006 09:24 PM