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May 15, 2005
Another Light
Last Thursday my friend Tylor had two brain tumors removed. This is his 43rd surgery. Over 14 tumors have been removed from his brain alone. Unfortunately this time they were not able to remove a part of a malignant mass which has become entangled in the lining of his brain. The prognosis is not good at all.
Tylor is having excruciating pain in the stump of his amputated leg which might mean further amputation. He is also being put on a final last straw chemotherapy protocol next week whose side effects I won’t even mention, because a bright and happy 14 year old should not have to suffer like this poor kid is.
With all that is going on Tylor is still his usual positive, enthusiastic self. He called me a few minutes ago from his hospital room. This THREE days after brain surgery:
“Hey Trevor, guess what?”
“What buddy?”
“I made it. I didn’t die during my brain surgery.”
“I’m really happy about that.”
“You’re happy? We’ll I’m happier.”
“You’re my hero Tylor. I don’t know how you are able to stay so positive and upbeat. I mean dude, three days ago you had some guy messing around inside your brain like an auto mechanic under the hood of a car and you’re back to your old happy self.”
“Well being sad is boring. Feeling sad for myself makes me just want to give up. And I’m not going to give up until the end.”
“I don’t blame you.”
“Yep, I’ll only give up when I die.”
“Wow, Tylor, you’re a bloody philosopher, dude.”
“What’s a philosopher?”
“Actually I’m not one hundred-percent sure. But I think it a person who tries to understand the nature of life, or something like that.”
“I’m not one of them, I’m just one of me.”
“Well, whatever you are, you are one of a kind, Tylor.”
“You too.”
“Me?”
“Yeah. There is only one St. Doofus.”
“Who?”
“My family calls you St. Doofus. You’re a doofus and funny and you are kind to people.”
“Wow, I’ve been called a little devil before, but I’ve never been called a saint.”
“Well, my mom says you are.”
“A devil?”
“No a saint, doofus.”
“Why does she say that? “
“Because you don’t mind helping a kid who is falling apart.”
(That’s when I fell apart and continued the conversation with silent, streaming tears, my heart breaking for this incredible human being.)
Many people have asked me why I choose to work with kids who stand a good chance of dying. Why I open myself to the pain, anguish and sadness that goes with the territory. My conversation with Tylor today says it all. Kids who have suffered like Tylor, TJ, Audrey, Vicki, Dana, Alex and Victor have positively changed my world and they continue to change it every day. They have altered the way I look at life. They have altered the way I look at death. These kids realize the importance of every wasted minute. They abide by a simple but effective philosophy: "If you're going through hell, don't stop!”
I have noticed that all of these kids have one thing in common. They all seem to seize life, magnify it and enjoy it for all it is worth. I have heard them laugh. I have felt them cry. I have seen them die. They continue to renew my faith in the Founder and the sheer power and strength of the human spirit.
Soldier on Tylor!
Posted by trevor at May 15, 2005 01:18 PM
Comments
You are an absolute inspiration. Thank you. I'll be visiting often.
Posted by: Alex at May 15, 2005 07:10 PM
You write things that are good to read. I'm happy that Tylor is doing well. I'm glad to hear his surgery went well!
Your journal entries inspire me. I am glad you post them.
Thanks a lot St. Doofus. ;)!!!
Posted by: kristen at May 15, 2005 10:01 PM
Yay!!
Julia does the Happy Dance in Boston!!!
Amazing! Simply Amazing!!!
Yay, I say, Yay!!!!
Posted by: Julia at May 16, 2005 07:07 AM
You're making me want to work with kids like these. Or at least (or most?) volunteer.
Posted by: Jodi at May 19, 2005 09:58 AM