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February 06, 2005

Wait A Second

The girlfriend of one of my friends is having a run of bad luck. She blames everyone and everything for her plight. Even when the slightest thing goes wrong, she throws her hands up into the air and says, “Just my luck I had a flat tire. There are a million cars out there and it HAD to happen to me.”

It’s amazing how people who are not getting exactly what they want blame everyone in sight for their misfortune. But as we all know, nobody is to blame but the laws of the universe and the workings of nature.

In his book 'When Bad Things Happen To Good People' Harrold Kushner talks about the laws of nature treating everyone alike. They do not make exceptions for good people.

Kushner says no matter what stories we are taught at Sunday school, God does not reach down to interrupt the workings of the laws of nature to protect the righteous from harm.

With a wonderful grasp of the concept of 'who's to blame' and a lovely sense of humor, Kushner says that if a person who was righteous, charitable and good were granted immunity because of his righteousness, imagine the chaos the world would be in.

It would mean that a person could go ice fishing in the North Pole without a shirt and not get pneumonia. That a person could jump off the roof of a high-rise building because the elevator was too slow and not hurt himself. That a person could cross the street in the face of heavy traffic and not be hurt because God would prevent the laws of nature from doing the person any harm.

No, sometimes awful things happen and nobody is to blame but bad luck.

Very few people in this world go through life without experiencing some tough times. Successful people learn to surf the waves of adversity by developing strengths that will help them get ahead of the wave.

My dad was abused by his father as a child. My grandfather was a tyrant and often beat my father to within an inch of his life. My dad broke the cycle. He was a wonderful father and the only time he ever laid a hand on me was when he hugged me. Before he died, I asked my dad how he managed to be such a great guy even though he went through tough times as a kid. "I didn't think of myself as a victim," he once told me. "I just happened to be a little kid who experienced bad luck because he had a dad who beat him up."

My father did not like the idea of carrying the label ‘victim’ with him into the future. "I acknowledged that my father beat me up", he said, "but I did not give him permission to control my present or influence my future.”

I always loved how caring and warm my dad was and he told me that when he felt bad, he reached out to us (his family) instead of reaching in.

My dad always talked about cycles of life and likened things that happened as 'bad' or 'good' seasons. Once, I was at home for a weekend pass during my military training and I was in tears because I didn't think I could go through two entire years of national service. My father put his arm around me and said, "Tough times and bad luck are like winter. They never seem to end, until the little daffodil pokes his head up through the spring snow. Then everything is so wonderful you quickly forget the winter behind you."

If you are going through a tough time right now, remember, it's always darkest and coldest just before the dawn.

Have you ever noticed that great things always seem to happen after incredibly tough times?

How often have you heard people say, "I was at the end of my rope; I was just about to give up when everything turned around?"

The Grammy-award-winning singer-songwriter "Jewel" is a perfect example. She was down and out, living in her van and playing guitar on Venice beach when everything suddenly changed. She is now a wealthy performer enjoying a fruitful life.

J.K. Rowling is another example. She was a single parent, had no steady job and spent most of her time writing stories in a local coffee shop. The stories she wrote were about a character called Harry Potter. The Harry Potter series is now the most successful children's book series in the history of publishing.

Happiness, love, success, comfort, all seem to come after the worst time. It really is part of nature.

Think of a newborn baby for example. Before this exquisite creation enters the world, it waits in a dark, blood-filled, mucous-swamped sack for nine months. Then it gets the heck squeezed out of it as it passes out of its mother's body.

Don’t forget the mother. She has to go through incredible discomfort, pain and sheer misery as her baby is born. Then the pain slowly subsides and the most wonderful sight appears as she nurtures her beautiful baby.

As my grandpa Ted always used to say. ”Think of bad times as ocean waves. Wait a second. They too will pass.”

Posted by trevor at February 6, 2005 11:27 AM